You'll OD
by therougeslytherin
Summary: What happens when you take two girls who know exactly what is going to happen, before it happens, give them infinite powers and enrole them at Hogwarts? A Fiction so CRACK!filled you will OVERDOSE!
1. Chapter 1

You'll OD

Disclaimer: the only thing we own in this entire fic is the fanfiction itself and the characters Ryu and Rouge.

Warning: This will include everything. Profanity, sex, bad humour, drugs, you name it and it's probably in there… including yaoi or yuri (homosexual relations usually including sex) you have been warned.

Authors' Note: Hello and welcome to "You'll OD" a fanfiction so crack filled-you'll OD on its humour and randomness. Since this is -gasp- a crack fic with a plot, so it will take some time before it gets uber funny… to help introduce the characters and such. This is a collaborative piece between Ryu-Vampiress and therougeslytherin, so it will be uploaded to both our accounts. Enjoy the chaos.

- - - - - - - -

**Chapter 1**

**How the hell did this happen?**

It was a plain and ordinary sunny day, interrupted by where our story begins; school. A plain, ordinary, boring high school in the art building of this old school a photo class was being held in room 503. The classroom was painted a light grey colour, and to the far end of the mediocre room was a bunch of cabinets which held various art pieces, to the left of that there was a counter which wrapped around to the left wall. This wall held two sinks, some photo developing chemicals and some paint. In the centre of the room were three rows of tables, one of which was abandoned save for three students, the table farthest from the door held a large group of students; all of whom were more popular and all close friends. The last table, located in the centre held a group of raunchy boys at the right end, and four girls to the left.

One girl, a brunette, sat in her favourite Roots sweater, black of course, reading a book. It was another day filled with nothing to do in Photo class. She was a highly religious girl who was quite photogenic and generally on good terms with most people. Her fair skin was the complete antithesis to her hair, which was a dark, almost black, brown. The girl, named Kae, was finally catching up with the rest of the world by reading the entire Harry Potter series. Currently she was halfway through reading the Prisoner of Azkaban.

Another girl, Bina, was an average girl with clear brown skin. She was sporting a short black bob of hair and a light green tee shirt, which read, 'In tennis love means zero'. Though she was a grade younger than all the rest of them, no one minded about the age thing seeing as it was just an elective course and she was quite mature.

The other two girls were talking about their first fanfiction, 'A Rivals Deal' which was a slash of Harry and Draco, even though one of the two didn't support the pairing. This girl was a redhead, with hair that fell to her lower back and pale Caucasian skin. She wore brown cloth pants which covered her flat, black shoes and a bright blue shirt which read, 'I'll try to be nicer' then stating under a line, 'If you try to be smarter'. Overall she was quite the sarcastic tomboy.

Ryu had a hand grasping her forehead in frustration as she was thoroughly convinced Harry and Draco would never work in 'real life'. The girl's grey-green eyes searched the other female's face for some kind of understanding.

The chameleon haired girl- currently dirty blonde, with a reddish tinge- stared back her blue-grey eyes filled with passion. This girl wore glasses, a black shirt, with the amusing comment, which read, '**P**otential **M**urder **S**uspect' in bold white print and regular jeans.

This girl, Rouge, was certain that Draco and Harry were perfect for each other.

"It would never work." Ryu tried to explain, "They're too different."

"Opposites attract." Rouge smiled

Ryu sighed, flipping her thick hair behind her shoulders. This would not be easy for Ryu to convince her, the girl with slim, black-rimmed glasses was determined to think it was a pairing thanks to a quote she read in the sixth book.

"Anyways..." Ryu tried to change the subject, "What would happen if we were enrolled at Hogwarts?"

"Mass chaos." Kae replied smoothly without looking up from her book.

Rouge and Ryu burst out laughing

"No kidding." The R girls said in unison. They looked at Kae with sides that hurt from laughing. She could be funny when she didn't even mean to be. Rouge re-adjusted the strap on her backpack, as it was only ten minutes until they had to go to their next block. Ryu, of course, had yet to pack everything up and was just putting away her pencil case.

"Oh yes," Began Rouge excitedly, "We could just clap our hands together like this..."

The girl held up both hands in the direction of Ryu-who was sitting to her right. Ryu glanced over and smirked. She'd humour the girl, Ryu decided; life is to short to be cool. Release the inner dork! Ryu smiled and raised her hands, both girls' palms facing each other.

"To Hogwarts!" Both girls yelled, clapping their palms.

Poof.

"Uh..." Bina began, as no one other than her and Kae noticed the disappearance of two of their classmates. "Guys...?"

- - - -

Poof.

Both girls landed on their asses quite abruptly after falling from their seated positions... as there was no longer any chairs beneath them. Ryu's unzipped backpack landed right on top of her; it's contents spilling onto the floor. Both girls' rumps were sore, as they seemed to have landed on a hard stone floor.

"What the hell was that?" Ryu asked, shoving her stuff back into her knapsack, in an effort to stay upright.

"I don't know, Ryu, but look around!" Rouge had hit a whole new level of high-pitched squealing that Ryu never heard before. She glanced around cautiously, tall ceilings looming above them, and dark, wide hallways were cast into a battle of light and shadows with the play of torchlight around them.

"You don't think..." Ryu started.

"We are in mother fucking Hogwarts!" The girl stood up, squealing and dancing around her comrade.

"I was going to say you look eleven years old but…" Ryu started, not caring much now that she realized what had happened. How were they doing this? Sixteen year olds in eleven year old bodies… it was an odd feeling.

The castle was just as the books described ominous, and yet having a sense of belonging at the same time. It couldn't really be here, it was a fictitious place created by a woman living in London. Yet here it was, prime and ready for the girls picking. In complete shock and awe at what was surrounding them, the two acquaintances had yet to properly notice themselves. Their clothes had mysteriously transfigured themselves into robes. They were both black and very comfortable, if not very practical. A woman's voice echoed behind the two girls, drawing their attention.

"Welcome to Hogwarts. Now, in a few moments you will pass through these doors and join your classmates. But before you take your seats, you must be sorted into your houses. They are Gryffindor.. Ravenclaw, and Slytherin." The older lady, apparent source of the voice, was at the top of some cream coloured stairs, a toad hidden to her left. It seemed to be hiding from something, as it was staying low to the ground, behind the extravagant opal railing. "Now while you're here your house will be like your family. Your triumphs will earn you points. Any rule breaking and you will loose points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the house cup."

The little toad, as if on cue, wobbled forward on its stubby, slate green legs. It stopped as a boy wearing a black robe (that matched the excited duo's) and cropped brown hair shouted out loud, "Trevor!"

The lady wore a deep green crushed velvet dress and had put her hair up in a loose bun, hidden by a tall pointed hat. She glared disapprovingly at the poor boy that grasped at the amphibian. He murmured a small apology before stepping back. The two girls stared at each other in awe. Was this actually happening? They were living the first Harry Potter book.

"The Sorting Ceremony will begin momentarily." The lady stalked out of view, her green dress sulking behind her. As soon as she was out of view, a platinum blonde boy stood up onto the area just where the lady was standing only moments before. Ryu quickly grabbed Rouge's excited face, clamping her hand around her mouth. The girl let out a scream and was taken back by pressure surrounding her lips. No sound came about, not even a muffled shriek… She glared angrily at Ryu, her blue-grey eyes finally widened in realization. Rouge would have to control herself.

"It's true then, what they're saying on the train." The blonde said with distain, "Harry Potter has come to Hogwarts."

The crowd murmured. Or what the girls knew was a crowd... they couldn't see anything past the top of the stairs, but they had read the books. The boy had a badass smirk, which Ryu thought, would crack his face. Rouge, on the other hand, thought that even though he was so young- he couldn't be sexier... unless he had his hair down. Ryu kept her hand clamped on her friend's face. 'She won't be able to contain herself', Ryu thought, 'she's too predictable.'

The red head held a finger to her lips, signalling to Rouge that they must be quiet. Behind black-rimmed glasses the girl rolled her eyes and then nodded, Ryu's hand still attached to her face. Ryu dropped the hand and trotted over to the railing. Rouge followed right behind her, noticing they had gone under more changes than just their loss of height.

They both squished into the side of the crowd, catching a sharp glance from the platinum boy. He, however, continued his speech… that is, until McGonagall interrupted him. Ryu and Rouge both made their way to the front of the crowd - knowing full well what the woman would say - they mouthed the words.

"We're ready for you now." The woman said, as if on cue

"Dun dun dun!" Rouge said, her voice deepening.

McGonagall didn't seem to hear them, even as the two girls cracked up.

The giant brown doors swung open as she led the crowd of 11-year-olds into the Great Hall. The room was filled with thousands of floating candles, and all the students sat at four tables. On the tables lay empty golden plates, with goblets and cutlery to match. All eyes were on the children, their small group full of nervous faces… aside from the smirking girls at the front of the clump, who seemed to be imitating the deputy head mistress. Their actions amused two third-year Gryffindor boys who were identical in appearance. The girls could barley make out what the two were saying as they passed.

"Too bad they're only ickle firsties."

"Yeah, I'd date 'em if they were older."

"I'd date both."

This last comment sent the twins into a fit of laughter.

The teacher stopped them in front of a four-legged stool with a tattered old hat upon it.

"This is gonna be good." Ryu smiled, staring deviously at the leather accessory. The brim on the hat opened up and it began to sing. Rouge mouthed the words along with it, much to the headmaster's interest. After the song, depicting the history of the house, the transfiguration professor announced, "When I call your name please step up here and place the hat on your head to be sorted."

She began to list off names as Ryu and Rouge had a contest with an Irish boy, Seamus Finnigan, of which house each student would be placed in. By the time Seamus was called up, he had yet to beat the dynamic duo at the guessing game. Ryu Kaida was next, and Rouge wished her luck. The red head moved forward, placing the hat upon head, hoping for the best.

/Well then,/ the hat spoke into her mind /before I begin, what house do you think you'll end up in?/

Ryu paused, thinking a moment, unsure if the hat could tell what she was thinking anyway.

/Slytherin wouldn't work for me, and I know I'm not a Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw… The best category for me would be Gryffindor./ Ryu thought back.

"Gryffindor!" shouted the hat with no hesitation… it then muttered "Category? That's a new one…"

Ryu walked over to her new house, greeted with light applause from the table. Her robes changed and she looked over at the twins, one of whom snapped his attention to the sorting hat. 'Hell yeah he's into me!' Ryu sat down, smiling, 'I don't know which one he is, but still!'

The group dwindled down to only a few students and Rouge struck up a quiet conversation with a boy she knew would get into Slytherin, Blaise Zabini.

"Rouge Sadique" The older lady read yet again looking down at the two remaining students who seemed to have been so involved in their discussion, the absence of a crowd startled them. Rouge walked calmly towards the overlarge head accessory and allowed the woman to place it upon her head.

'This is going to be fun!' She thought before all she could see was the inside of the hat.

/What do we have here?/ the deep voice of the sorting hat resounded in the girl's ears.

'Well, I am one fucked up teenager, that's what.'

/I… See…/ the hat began before Rouge cut his train of thought off

'Oh no you don't! You wanna see? Here you go!' She said glaring at the dark fabric, allowing all of her teenage memories and feelings loose.

The hall sat quietly, wondering why the hat was taking so long with that young girl. Though Ryu could take a wild guess. Suddenly the hat started screaming for mercy and the bespectacled girl threw the hat off, smirking, as the animated hat growled out, "Slytherin you sadistic child!"

"Finally." Rouge said, heading to the green and silver table, watching as her plain robes transfigured into ones with her house trim and badge. After Blaise too was sorted into the house of snakes, Dumbledore stood up to begin his announcements.

The headmaster stood up, addressing the students with raised hands. The students all quieted down and stared up at him expectantly. His hands formed into standard rock formation, both middle and ring fingers curling into his palms.

"Hello Hogwarts!" Dumbledore shouted as the students' eyes collectively widened in shock. Four voices, two male and two female, echoed a "Woot!" before the old man with twinkling eyes continued. He snapped a look at Snape, who sighed and stood. Flicking his wand, music erupted out of nowhere, a kind of tingling rap beat. Snape was no pleased.

"Yo yo yo, it's Dumbledore,

Y'all should know to stay off the third floor,

The forbidden forest, it ain't no joke,

Go in there an' som'in' gonna get broke!"

All students thought in unison, 'what the fuck?!'

"I've gotten a note from Filch, my man

That there's a new list of things that are banned

We got a new teacher, twitchy as a squirrel,

He wears a purple turban and his name is Quirrell."

Ryu and Rouge glanced over at each other before bursting out with laughter.

"Prefects lead your first years to the dormitories,

But I give you permission to skip bedtime stories.

I leave you now as sleep is what you seek,

And remember,

Nitwit, blubber, oddment, and tweak!"

'That wasn't mentioned in the book… but then; perhaps it just followed the basic plot.' Ryu couldn't help but think. After all, she wanted this to be canon, though… She glanced at Snape who sat back down in embarrassment, she wished he had a better life. 'Kids can be so cruel' Ryu mused sadly, remembering the time when Harry managed to catch a glimpse at the professor's memories.

"And as a side note," Dumbledore started again, "This year all classes will be a mix of all houses, to promote inter-house relations."

At this announcement, there were several groans and shouts of "That's rubbish!" across the floor. The headmaster sat down, ignoring the protests; looking at Rouge and Ryu. Rouge knew the song, Dumbledore wanted her to be happy - if only to see what else she would do. Or maybe it was just the 'special' sherbet lemons…

"And now before we head to bed, we must all sing the school song!" The other teachers' seemed to have forced smiled laid upon their faces. The headmaster swished his wand, and a long gold ribbon flew out the end, twisting into the words.

"Pick your favourite tune!" Dumbledore cried, "Let's go!"

The students all chimed in with a hearty booming sound, Rouge remembered the fact that the Weasley twins used a funeral march and Ryu clued in after watching her partner in crime.

_Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts,  
Teach us something, please,  
Whether we be old and bald  
Or young with scabby knees,  
Our heads could do with filling  
With some interesting stuff,  
For now they're bare and full of air,  
Dead flies and bits of fluff,  
So teach us things worth knowing,  
Bring back what we've forgot,  
Just do your best, we'll do the rest,  
And learn until our brains all rot._

Everyone finished the song at different times, aside from the Weasley twins and the out-of-place duo. Dumbledore clapped the loudest when the song was done, and Ryu had the suspicion that he was, in fact, high.

"Prefects?" McGonagall said, motioning for them to rise. The students all began to stand, prefects trying to herd first years toward them. Ryu laughed when she saw Percy gathering her fellow 'ickle firsties'. The red head then looked around for her friend and saw her talking to Draco Malfoy and the Zabini boy. Smirking, Ryu followed Hermione Granger out of the hall knowing that she would catch up with Rouge later.

Rouge walked conversing with the arrogant Malfoy boy and her first wizarding friend, Blaise. "I swear you'd look better with your hair down, Draco!"  
"Shut it Sadique... That means sadistic in French right?" The blonde girl nodded before allowing the pureblood to rant away. "My last name is a form of the French translation for bad faith, my wizarding family can be traced back to-" Blaise cut the other Slytherin off with a clipped tone.

"I don't really care, Malfoy. Rouge, I am sorry but I'd rather prance around the staff room in pink lingerie then talk to this ponce."

The silver-eyed boy glared, "Just because you are a half blood..." He started before Rouge stepped between the two.  
"Enough! Draco, I know you adore your father and want to be a mini version of him, but seriously what you are saying is mad... What would you rather do? Eventually end up bowing before a half blood or be friends with one of unpure blood?"

The eleven-year-old boy was shocked at the question. "I'd never have to make a choice like that..." He muttered and received a glare from the bold girl. "If the Dark Lord came back, you'd follow him rather then... be friends with Zabini, am I right?" She said making it clearer. The platinum blonde mistook her meaning and sneered a positive answer. Rolling her eyes Rouge grabbed Blaise's hand and pulled him to the front of the first years saying her final message over her shoulder, "Well then go look up the history of Tom Riddle when you get a chance, this mudblood is out of here!"


	2. Chapter 2

You'll OD

Disclaimer: the only thing we own in this entire fic is the fanfiction itself and the characters Ryu and Rouge.

Warning: This will include everything. Profanity, sex, bad humour, drugs, you name it and it's probably in there… including yaoi or yuri (homosexual relations usually including sex) you have been warned.

Authors' Note: Hello and welcome to "You'll OD" a fanfiction so crack filled-you'll OD on its humour and randomness. Since this is -gasp- a crack fic with a plot, so it will take some time before it gets uber funny… to help introduce the characters and such. This is a collaborative piece between Ryu-Vampiress and therougeslytherin, so it will be uploaded to both our accounts. Enjoy the chaos.

- - - - - - - -

**Chapter 2**

**An average day at Hogwarts -- Not!**

The evening before, Ryu had run upstairs after Percy's speech to find that she did have luggage, including a wand; clothes, and books, and that it contained basic non-descript stuff. '_Ahh the magic of… Hogwarts. They had traveled to the past and to another world. Were they in an alternate dimension? Were they in a messed up parallel universe?_'

These questions could not escape from her mind as she crawled into her scarlet four-poster and drifted slowly off to sleep.

The first day of classes was the same old routine for the wizarding school. Hogwarts was far out of the ordinary, but adding two girls in that knew almost everything that would happen, along with a cracked out Headmaster was a recipe for trouble.

History of Magic was quite possibly the most boring class the girls had ever faced before- and they were grade 11 muggles, who had to deal with classes where the whole point of the course was to be there and not do anything. The theory was vaguely interesting, but it would be more so if the ghost of a teacher wasn't the definition of boring.

Teachers seemed to have a great affect on students attitudes in the girls' old world classes, and the fact didn't change in the magical universe. Professor Binns was the dullest person they'd ever met, rumour had it he fell asleep one day and when he woke up the next he left his body behind!

They had taken so many notes that class, with the ink and quill conveniently stowed in their new luggage, Rouge swore her hands would fall off. Ryu teased, it was only because the other girl kept up the tasks of writing notes to both her (who was sitting beside her) and Blaise who sat behind the duo as well as copying the lesson down.

When Professor Flitwick, The Charms teacher, came down the attendance list he paused at Harry's name… giving an excited squeak before falling off the stack of books he was standing on. Flitwick was quite a small wizard with a little white beard and a pair of tiny glasses. He looked critically down at Draco Malfoy plotting behind two boys built like trolls and knew he would need to keep him under control. Rouge and Ryu of course, sat beside each other again and amused themselves by tuning out the professor's speech and pointing out funny-sounding words in their text.

The defence classroom smelled like garlic, much to Rouge's annoyance as she was allergic to the aromatic root. It was supposedly meant to ward off a vampire Quirrell said he'd met in Romania and to the poor teacher's fright, Ryu pointed out the Slytherin's allergy often. When questioned about his head dress by the girls with accusing glares always directed towards him, he insisted it was a thank you gift for defeating a zombie before quickly changing the subject.

The next class was Transfiguration, which turned out to be quite problematic. Ryu and Rouge couldn't seem to understand why their wands went haywire anytime they went to use them. They even had McGonagall's approval of their pronunciation and wand movements. The continual use of this term did nothing to help the poor girls. Rouge and Ryu kept looking at each other nervously; the irking thought going through both girls' minds was that it was _all_ a mistake. Though the teacher insisted both were doing the spell right in theory, Hermione Granger and a couple Ravenclaws were the only people to transfigure their matches into needles. For the rest of the class, their homework was to practice the spell before trying again the next day.

With the thought of relaxing at lunch close at hand, the girls practically ran to eat from the golden plates. They were both hungry, and wondered what the wizarding equivalent to M&Ms were. Spread out on the table, magically yet again, was loads of delicious looking lunch items. Ryu only half-listened to Harry, Ron and Hermione… they were moaning about the idea of double potions next class. The red-head glanced over to Rouge who was talking to Blaise. 'Lucky bastard' Ryu thought, 'At least she has someone to talk to on a more… sixteen year old level. They might get her jokes.'

Blaise looked at Rouge like she was totally mad before bursting out in a very undignified way. This only caused the girl to smirk and be proud of her achievement for opening her Slytherin friend up. She had given up on most of the first years from Slytherin, they were all very dull minded apart from Blaise, Draco, and herself though the blonde boy was insufferable. 'I will have to change his thoughts of the war before it begins, that and Harry Potter!' Rouge thought allowing Blaise to recover on her joke of how funny Snape would look in a dress. The olive skinned boy calmed down and grabbed his things before he invited Rouge to walk with him to their potions class. The smirking girl got up and followed him before signalling to Ryu to meet her in the class and that she could save her Gryffindor friend a seat.

Professor Snape, like Flitwick, started class by going through the register. He stopped at Harry's name, but only for a moment, muttering something about celebrities. The famous (to the girls who read the books anyway) question war between Harry and Snape took place, Rouge muttering two of the answers, and Ryu remembered the one about the bezoar. Both Snape and Harry couldn't hear them, and the girl's weren't sure if that was a good thing or not.

The professor put them all into pairs; Ryu and Rouge got stuck together again… happily, and started lecturing them on how to make a potion to cure boils. It was simple, but this was one thing Rouge and Ryu were glad didn't require wands. Ryu began to copy out the instructions and Rouge set about weighing pine needles. Ryu, who finished writing out the instructions, began to crush snake fangs. Snape went about the room, sneering at people who didn't seem to be getting anything wrong, making them second-guess themselves. He strode over to the girl's table and huffed past, having seen nothing wrong with it… so far. Ryu smiled, 'that guy is so predictable.'

Minutes later, Neville Longbottom spilled his potion, causing boils to erupt all over his skin. Everyone got up on their chairs as they didn't want the quickly seeping liquid to get on them too.

"Idiot!" Snape yelled, using a cleaning spell on the floor, "Take him to the hospital wing," The professor pointed at Seamus, his partner. "I suppose you put the porcupine quills in before you took the cauldron off the fire?"

The boy nodded and hobbled away, Mr. Finnigan at his arm. Snape angrily turned and stalked up to his desk at the front of the class, tending to his own potion.

Rouge was angry. She hadn't been able to do almost anything all day, as her wand apparently didn't know what the hell it was doing. The girl knew what to do, but the wand would not obey her. Why, she couldn't fathom. This made the girl begin to bang her head against the table. Ryu looked over sadly, knowing what she was feeling.

A sickening _crack_ made them both pause. Rouge pulled her head up, a red line across her forehead. Looking down they saw bits and pieces of a quill. Rouge's quill.

"Oh shit!" Rouge rasped "Do you have an extra?"

"No…" Ryu glanced up to see Snape with his back turned to them, looking over something on the chalk board.

"Shit." Rouge looked around, but everyone was looking over their cauldrons.

"Why don't you use 'Reparo'?" Ryu suggested tentatively

Rouge glared at her, dredging up the day's events. They weren't able to use the damn wands.

"Oh… right." Ryu glanced up at Snape again, and he was leaning over Ron's cauldron, much to the boy's fright.

Rouge held the quill pieces in her hands, glaring at them angrily. "Reparo"

The pieces snapped back together, and looked as new as when Rouge first saw it. Ryu glared at the thing in disbelief.

"Did you just…" Ryu knew the answer but couldn't believe it. This was new. Rouge nodded her head. She had only done it in false hope… but now…

"Do you think…" Ryu paused, ripping the corner of her parchment and saying the spell, "Reparo"

The paper returned to normal. The girls stared at each other with wide eyes and began to smile. This was going to be great! Ryu and Rouge didn't even have to use the confounded wands! Rouge wasn't going to be merry for long.

"Rouge, you have a cut on your forehead." Ryu paused suddenly out of the cheerful smile.

"What?" the girl touched a hand to her face, feeling a small bump that stretched, jaggedly, above her eyebrows.

"Probably from the quill…" Ryu didn't mention how red the tiny cut was, "It's not bleeding that much, that's good."

"Ugh, just what I need. Know any quick-healing spells?" Ryu shook her head, "Damn"

"Well," Rouge started again, "if we don't need wands for this…" She left the sentence dangling, both ex-muggles knew what that would entail. Rouge rubbed her forehead thinking of every charm that could help and the cut healed into a almost invisible scar. Ryu then took her inkpot and murmured a charm she had read in her transfigurations textbook. The inkpot instantaneously morphed into a tiny statue of herself.. Rouge leaned over and 'Engorgeo'ed the statue, and the figurine quickly obliged, enlarging about twice the size. Ryu rushed over to the cauldron when the professor began to circle around to their table. She stirred the cauldron methodically, straining to keep a straight face. Snape strode over, sneering when he saw the statue. Rouge pretended not to notice his glare and began to fill in the rest of the notes with her chicken scratch.

"What," Snape tilted the figurine, "is the meaning of this?"

"An experiment, sir." Ryu offered, staring into her cauldron as she continued to stir.

"At the beginning of this class I specifically asked that there would be no foolish wand waving," the potions master snorted, "Or are you so totally incompetent that you couldn't even manage that?"

Ryu looked up at the goth man then, meeting his gaze.

"Actually sir, there was no 'foolish wand waving'," Rouge's eyes darted from her usually reserved friend to her teacher, "We do not require a wand to work magic, Professor."

"Bullocks," Snape said, a hint of uneasiness lacing the words, "No witch or wizard has done something this complex without a wand- not even the headmaster."

"I'm sure you will understand soon enough, Professor," Ryu started with an acidic look in her eyes, "that we are not regular witches."

Snape's lips twitched and Rouge knew he would deduct points, so she went to counter the action.

"Five points from Gryffindor for lying." Snape rung sourly, not mentioning Slytherin.

"But we aren't lying!" Rouge protested. All the students were staring at the pair now, each with varying amounts of interest.

"We can prove it!" Ryu proclaimed with determination

"I'm sure." Professor Snape quirked an eyebrow, "Very well, if you can prove it, you'll both receive 500 points. Though it's not as if you pathetic first years could do major magic without a wand."

"We accept your challenge." Rouge announced, Ryu nodded her head in earnest. Ryu sat back down beside Rouge, the rest of the class crowding around the two. Snape didn't seem to care and just stared at the two with distain, he would enjoy watching these wannabes make fools out of themselves.

"What should we do Professor?" Ryu asked, the tension starting to get to her. The students all stared at the teacher in wonder - what would he say?

"Well," Snape cleared his throat, "You should turn this statue into one of Dumbledore, then Rouge can reduce it's size."

'_Fuck.' _Ryu didn't know the charm to do that… '_How could I…?'_

"We're waiting, Miss. Kaida." Snape said coolly.

Ryu clenched her teeth and imagined a still figurine of Dumbledore, which was hard to do after the last time she saw him so animated. Ryu held her hands over the small statue of herself, and in her mind's eye, saw it evolve into one of Dumbledore. She closed her eyes while she did this, but when the grey green-eyed girl felt a slight cool feeling in her palms, she opened her eyes. This interaction was only a second long, but it had seemed to drag on for eternity. Ryu hates crowds, and this amount of people she didn't know made her feel un comfortable.

There stood a large brass figure of Dumbledore, holding a hand up to his crescent shaped glasses. Kids all around them were murmuring, gasping, or staring with disbelief. Ryu shrunk down, unnerved by the amount of people staring at her. Rouge quickly mumbled 'Reducto' and the size of the statue squished back to the size it was before she 'Engorgeoed'ed it. The murmurs from the crowd picked up again as the figure of the headmaster changed once more to what looked like a detailed paper weight.

"Let's have our points Professor." Rouge smiled heavily, loving the look of shock on the Potion Master's face. The very thread of this man's being -his pride- was being torn apart.

"500 points to…" Snape looked as though the words actually caused him pain, "Gryffindor, and 500 points to Slytherin."

Rouge and Ryu grinned madly at each other, this new gain in points would allow them to reek havoc without causing that much harm to their chances at winning the house cup.

"Thank you kindly Professor." Ryu grinned up at the disturbed vampire-like teacher.

"I'll…" Snape's face looked like it would crack, "Inform the Headmaster of your interesting powers."

Many of the all powerful girls' peers were asking them how they did it, some questioning if it was a trick. Class ended as Severus Snape left the class - rather quickly - to tell Dumbledore of this new development.

Since the last class of the day was out it meant that it was supper time, and the girls were more than ready for that. Once again the twosome were torn away from each others' sides to their respective house tables after they had quickly plotted their plan of action. Ryu's job was to befriend the heroes (Harry, Ron, and Hermione), and Rouge had to make friends with the 'enemy' (Draco and any other smart Slytherins). Rouge had the potential to be more successful, mostly due to the fact that Ryu was not one to make friends easily… that and her unending sarcasm would grate upon the Gryffindors. 'Maybe the Sorting Hat should have put me in Hufflepuff.' Ryu thought absentmindedly 'That would have been interesting.' To be truthful, Ryu found the company of the book's threesome to be rather dull. More and more the non-weasley redhead wanted to hang out with the twins; they were the only ones who seemed to have fun in the castle.

"I have an announcement to make!" The Headmaster stood, freaking out most of the first years, "I propose we elect a new council of students- like the prefects. These shall be known as the moral keepers, and shall be in charge of dances and other major social activities in the after school hours." A wave of talking cascaded amongst the students, most liking the fact that Dumbledore still ate those special sherbet lemons.

"I think we should hold an impromptu election! We shall need, from every house, two upper years and two lower years. It does not matter the gender as long as the entire house agrees." The man grinned manically, "To save you from a voting process I have taken the liberty of giving everyone a potion that will display the names they believe their house should have to represent their fun times in what looks like a muggle hologram! They will also save me the trouble and we shall have a holographic battle as each name fights for it's place to be a part of this council." Everyone was shocked, not only form the madness of the idea but from the lack of privacy. Rouge took it in stride as she doubted she could have made the choices manually and looked across to Ryu who looked like she thought similar. The entire hall got a surprise when green letters exploded above every head of every single student in Slytherin. Nobody could tell exact names as they were all clumped but Blaise and Rouge told the votes of their friend opposite. Soon names began popping away quickly sounding like a bag of popcorn in the microwave.

At long last four final names rose above the rest, glimmering with silver sparkles. 'Rouge Sadistique, Blaise Zabini, Adrian Pucey, and Terance Higgs' which caused the Headmaster to look really upset. "I wish we had two boys and two girls, not three boys and one girl! Ah well, Slytherin is always the rule breakers though I didn't make that one quite clear..." He ranted on ignoring the hologram shows of Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff which happened at the same time. When Terry Boot, Roger Davies, Padma Patil, and Penelope Clearwater's names appeared the blue and bronze house let out a polite applause that continued as the Hufflepuff names began to join the other enlarged ones. Gryffindors ignored the yellow and black names of Justin Finch-Fletchley, Hannah Abbot, Rika Summers, and Sean Stebbins due to the red and gold hologram fight commmencing. The names remaining for the Gryffindor house were somewhat expected. Fred and George Weasley, Seamus Finnigan and Ryu Kaida. All of the names then disappeared in a flash of all the house colours.

"To everyone who has gotten a place on the council, Congrats! I will love to get any thoughts you have on things to do that can promote house unity and boost moral!" Ryu had a feeling of what would happen, she felt it in her bones… but she hoped Rouge wasn't so bold as to shout in front of --

"The First Annual Truth or Dare Sleepover Party!" Rouge yelled, pumping a fist into the air. Ryu felt herself hiding her face in her hands before she could stop herself.

"I second the motion!" Fred shouted, gaining a grin from the loud Slytherin in the process.

"All right!" Dumbledore yelled, defiantly high, "And I will make sure no teachers are around to cramp your style either!"

This revelation got mixed reactions from the crowd; some unsure, some yay, some nay… but it was done. The feast began with new vigour for Rouge and a sickening feeling for Ryu. The nervous Gryffindor, though already 16, never had a proper truth or dare game- let alone a party dedicated to it. Rouge, on the other hand, used to have them all the time and she quite enjoyed the chaos that ensued.

Two minds across the hall, one excited and one cautious, thought the simple phrase that would start the madness. 'Let the games begin.'


	3. Chapter 3

You'll OD

Disclaimer: the only thing we own in this entire fic is the fanfiction itself and the characters Ryu and Rouge.

Warning: This will include everything. Profanity, sex, bad humour, drugs, you name it and it's probably in there… including yaoi or yuri (homosexual relations usually including sex) you have been warned.

Credits: Original concept; Ryu and Rouge, Written by; Ryu, Edited by; Rouge

Authors' Note: Hello and welcome to "You'll OD" a fanfiction so crack filled-you'll OD on its humour and randomness. Since this is -gasp- a crack fic with a plot, so it will take some time before it gets uber funny… to help introduce the characters and such. This is a collaborative piece between Ryu-Vampiress and therougeslytherin, so it will be uploaded to both our accounts. Enjoy the chaos.

- - - - - - - -

**Chapter 3**

**Truth or Dare**

Dinner seemed eons ago and the giant tables had been moved to make a horseshoe - blocking the passage to the staff table, and opening up to the giant wooden doors. The golden plates were replaced with silver bowls and platters (some filled with chocolate frogs or cauldron cakes, and some filled with the nachos or popcorn). Ryu and Rouge had showed the house elves how to make all sorts of glorious muggle snacks earlier for this important occasion.

Between organizing the event and experimenting with their new powers, even learning that they could change their hair styles and colour, the girls barely had time to try and acquaint themselves with the twins. Something they had very much wanted to do. Both duos kept glancing at their partners in crime, trying to decipher which one was going to step up to greet the potential allies.

Since most muggle-born witches and wizards knew how to play, they were teaching the kids, mainly those who had lived in the wizarding world all their life, the rules. Rouge was finally able to start up a conversation with Fred Weasley, as they were both setting up platters on the long house tables.

"How did you learn about Truth or Dare? You are from a pure blooded family and usually they don't know things about 'muggle culture' of today."

"Oh, well my dad loves muggles," Fred explained, "thinks they're fascinating. Works for the ministry of magic in the Misuse of Magical Artifacts department… anyway one day he managed to get his hands on a children's book - detailing how to play a bunch of muggle games. Truth or Dare was one I remember quite well." he said with a wistful smile on his face as if lost in memory.

Rouge grinned, "You've played this game with other people I take it?"

He nodded, grinning back at the first year, "But of course. George will never be the same - dared him to let Scabbers loose in the garden and mum just about yelled his ear off."  
"Right…" Rouge said, shuddering and changing the subject before anyone noticed her awkwardness to that comment.

When all the platters were assembled, the mass of students gathered around in what looked like a rectangle on drugs.

"All right people," Rouge tried to address the crowd who ignored her. She glared and used a silent charm to raise her voice to a booming level.  
"SHUT UP RUNTS!" she yelled, causing the windows to crack from the sheer volume. Silently removing the charm she had the decency to look abashed.  
"Anywhom," she began with a look of sheer glee plastered on her face, "Welcome to the first annual Truth or Dare sleepover party! Anyone can leave the game when they want but beware, dares can still be played with you involved!"

Ryu shook her head, Rouge would never cease to astound her. How she could talk to all these people like that was simply awe-inspiring.

"This," Rouge held her bangs up, revealing her forehead, "This is what happens to our liars in this game."

A deep purple splotch appeared above her eyebrows, changing into the word 'Lies'.

"I wouldn't suggest chickening out either or you won't need a broom to play quidditch." She added as an afterthought. A hand raised in the crowd as soon as Rouge's display was done. Ryu nodded to the small Ravenclaw,

"How will this work?" The tiny voice inquired.

"Glad you asked," Rouge smiled, allowing Ryu to breath a sigh of relief for not having to reply in front of the huge audience.

"It seems that the castle likes the idea. She'll cooperate with us and happily punish all offenders of the rules, since I am horrible at staying within them myself. Punishing people for breaking them is just making me seem like a hypocrite."

"How do you know that Hogwarts is going to help, it is just a building." A Hufflepuff stated rudely from the crowd

"One word. Staircases. Well I think that is one word anyways..." Rouge shrugged the jeer off, imagining it to be just another idiot Hufflepuff hardly mentioned in the books.

"Since I nominated this event, I will start." Rouge scanned the crowd before deciding to use the Hufflepuff that mocked her. "You."

All eyes flashed to the boy she was pointing at, watching his every move much like a pack of wolves on their prey.

"Truth or Dare?"

The boy eyed her suspiciously, before puffing up, ready to show off to the rest of the student body.

"Dare."

Rouge thought a moment before smiling, "I dare you to sing a love song to your head of house."

The crowd gaped at Rouge before turning to await the boy's response. Both Rouge and Ryu smiled because the whole school looked like they were watching a tennis match.

"I…" He seemed to be in shock, "Professor Sprout?"  
Rouge nodded, "Unless you're chicken."

The crowd's eyes bounded back and fourth between the two, and murmurs arose as he headed out of the Hall. Many suddenly realised that when the hat sorted Rouge… it chose well.

She glanced back into the crowd, grinning.

"I never did say he had to go now did I?" She chortled before continuing, "Now that we're off to such a great start," Rouge smiled, hearing the echoes of slamming doors to her far right, "Separate into small groups, we'll come back into a big circle shortly."  
The main circle quickly disbanded into clumps of about 4-7 but the two out-of-place girls stayed in place along with the twins who had held the record of biggest pranksters in the last three years. The twins both grinned eagerly at Rouge, who merely smiled and pushed her glasses higher up on her nose.

"Twins?" Rouge said in a tone that would seem most flirtatious if she had not looked eleven years old.

"Rouge Sadastique," They said in unison, "Truth or Dare?"  
"Dare." She said with no hesitation, which appeared to frighten her comrade.

"We dare you," They said with words flowing together seamlessly, "to steal the sorting hat and wear it all night!"  
Rouge grinned, "You got it."

Ryu looked at her friend nervously, "Could she have an assist? As two people dared her?"  
The other three's stares bore into her flesh and she shivered. The three grinned deviously at her and she regretted her choice immediately.  
"Granted." The twins grinned, mirrored by Rouge herself and Ryu cringed.  
"Let's go Ryu!" Rouge smiled - grabbing Ryu's robe and tugging her backward.

"Wait!…" She sighed and gave in before yelling to the two red heads, "Make sure nobody quits on this!"  
Fred and George both saluted her before turning their gazes to the groups of people around the hall. Rouge hauled Ryu through the hall until she found her feet.  
"You don't suppose we could 'Accio' it, do you?" Ryu asked, uneasy about the idea of breaking into the pot-loving-masters' chambers.  
"I could, but what is the fun in that?"  
"Oh, right… this is going to be FUN" Ryu grumbled, obviously displeased.

The twosome stalked through the halls, and at one point they put together a hasty invisibility charm to avoid detection from the High-master himself. Ryu also had to silence Rouge a couple times when her humming of the mission impossible theme became too loud. When they reached the bottom of the headmaster's stairs - the ones guarded by the statue of a golden creature - they both said 'lemon drops' at the same time. Unsurprisingly, the stairs began to rise out of the floor, and the girls hopped on. Rouge pushed the door open slowly, hoping the previous headmasters were sleeping in their portraits. Ryu followed behind, scanning the room for any sign of the hat 'o sorting. Rouge spotted it first, Ryu preoccupied with Fawkes - unsure if the phoenix was sleeping or not. Ryu made a motion of grabbing something and Rouge rolled her eyes.

'_Could you lift my arse up to it?' _She thought, before smiling as her mind repeated that sentence with her mind in the gutter.

Ryu shot a levitation charm at Rouge's feet, helping her reach the hat - nearly six feet higher than their heads. Ryu had been told earlier by Rouge that when she did major magic her eyes became a brighter green. Which had it's downfalls, such as the fact that is she ever had to be secretive about her magic, she'd have to learn to blink just as her eyes changed colour. If Voldemort found out then they would be in more trouble of dieing and screwing too much with the plotline.

Rouge seized the hat and it shrieked like a school girl. Ryu let her friend fall down as she silenced the thrashing accessory, diverting her attention from the levitation charm.

"Dear god that thing was loud." Ryu said to Rouge who was rubbing her behind which broke her fall. As if together in a sudden realisation, they looked around the circular office to see the past school headmasters awakening.

And thus, they figured out they could apparate inside Hogwarts.

The two (three if you count the hat) landed in the Great Hall, Rouge landing atop Fred and George with Ryu landing square on her ass.  
"I see you got the hat." Fred said as air finally refilled his lungs after being pushed out form the sudden shock of having a girl land on him. Rouge got off the twins quickly, as the sorting hat had begun to wail again. Ryu slammed the offensive headgear onto Rouge's head, and it began whimpering immediately, making the girl grin like a cheshire cat before silencing it.

"My turn!" Rouge squeeled, pointing at Ryu, "Truth or Dare?"  
Ryu could tell right away that Rouge would Crucio her ass if she chose truth.  
"Dare, go easy." Ryu sighed, awaiting her fate. Rouge thought awhile before grinning once again.  
"I dare you to sing everything you say."  
"Sing it?" Ryu said, face dumbstruck, voice monotone.

"The dare has started." Rouge said smugly.

"_Rouge I swear, I'm going to kick your aaaaass" _Ryu sung in an exaggerated girly voice, clasping her hands together like a cheerleader.  
"Just so long as you do a heavy metal voice whilst doing it." She grinned, transfiguring herself into a Ryu look-alike, matching her voice exactly;  
_"I'm Ryu and I'm a wuss" _Rouge sung in a very girly tone.

"_Truth or dare George?" _Ryu sung, ignoring Rouge, who crossed her arms and turned back into her original form.

"Dare"

Ryu thought awhile, she never was good at coming up with truths or dares. Her mind wandered to the teachers and she smiled slightly.

"_I dare you," _She sung in a funeral march, _"to give McGonagall catnip!"_

Rouge stared at her a moment before bursting into fits of giggles.

"Is that the best you can come up with?"

"_Shut up"_  
George groaned, "Fine. Later Fred."

Fred watched his brother leave with disappointment of not being able to join him.  
_"Perhaps we should-" _Ryu's song was cut short by Rouge

"Join the rest of em?"

Fred nodded, and walked rather quickly to the circle which had been formed by several groups merging together. Some students had chosen to opt out and were now either resting on sleeping bags or eating at the tables.

"_You know…" _Ryu whispered, noticing Rouge's interest in the older boy, _"Perhaps he's too timid for you"_  
Rouge laughed, "He's probably astounded that someone else can match him and his brother, that's all."

Ryu smirked broadly, knowing full that she was not going to try get together with anyone in this world as it would only cause confusion if her and Rouge were to suddenly be gone forever. Quickly, everyone still participating had made their way back into the main ring of students, gaining both mischievous and apprehensive glances from the throng. Rouge grinned as Ryu shrunk back, _'Typical Ryu…'_

"Ready kids? Time for the real dares!" Ryu shook her head slightly as Rouge finished belting out the newest proclamation.

Draco pointed at Rouge, attempting to look superior, "I'm daring you!"  
"Fine, show me what 'chu've got!" Rouge barked happily, ignoring the general Truth/Dare etiquette.

"I dare you to hug Flitwick next class!" The crowd's eyes were flicking back and forth between the two Slytherins.

Rouge grinned, "Well that is easy enough. Your turn." She said narrowing her eyes. No one protested as the girl ignored the rest of them, ready to unleash her daring might on the blonde prick.

"I dare you to wear the girl's uniform! Not only tonight but for all of tomorrow as well!" All eyes widened in sync with Rouge's smirk. Draco looked as though he were about to upchuck some slugs.

"You aren't chicken, are you?" Rouge smiled like the devil as five roosters appeared in the centre of the student-ring.  
"No!" Draco thought a moment, then smirked, as if finding a loophole, "I don't have a girl's uniform to wear."

"Not to worry Draco dear," Rouge said as the chickens left with a poof of smoke, "Ryu… you know more about sewing…"  
_"My pleasure." _The red-head said quickly, regretting the vast amount of spotlight suddenly directed at her. Her eyes flashed green as she concentrated, never have done sewing magic like this before. Malfoy screamed as his pasty white legs were flashed to the audience, the breeze of the strong magic ruffling his pants-turned skirt. Harry Potter who had been hidden in a corner burst out laughing and beside him Ron practically died. Many other students were also laughing. Draco then glared at Ryu, who had made it a female **Gryffindor** outfit.

"How dare you?! Mark my words Kaida-" Malfoy was cut off by Rouge

"Goddamnit, Draco shut up! We never decided it had to be a Gryffindor one so I'll just change it!" Rouge flicked her hand and the uniform changed from red and gold trim to green and silver… She also made the skirt shorter and shirt tighter. Draco turned so red he looked vaguely like a phoenix.  
Ryu couldn't stop laughing openly at her new realisation that Malfoy Skirt Fricken' Hilarious. Crabbe and Goyle were ordered by the barelegged boy to stand around him for cover.  
Draco seethed, "Rouge I dare you-"

"Come on!" Blaise shouted, "Give someone else a chance, this isn't a dare duel!"

There were general nods from around the students and Draco fumed as many Slytherins joined in, for they had been getting tired of the needless rivalry between the Malfoy child and Rouge for a while.

"Fine…" The boy scanned the crowd, passing over Ryu a moment and looking at her again.

"Kaida!" '_Fuck,' _Ryu thought, '_he's trying to get to Rouge through me'_  
_"Yes?"_

"Truth or Dare?"  
The redhead caught sight of the glare from Rouge and growled.

"_Dare."_

Malfoy Jr. thought a bit, trying to come up with a dare embarrassing enough to make Rouge care. Suddenly it looked like he had an epiphany.

"I dare you to copy Rouge in everything she does." Malfoy grinned and was met with a few blank stares. "You will wear what she wears, say anything that comes out of her mouth, for the whole day tomorrow."  
Murmurs arose from the crowd, throwing Ryu off what would seemingly be an easy task, had it not been Rouge she had to copy.  
_"P-piece of cake." _She said hardly stuttering while her mind was in chaos as she could only think '_My life is a living hell.'_

Many others in the hall seemed to agree as the night wore on. The younger years began trickling quickly to bed, followed by the overstressed fifth years. Soon Ryu and Rouge were the only ones in the two youngest years to be awake in the group of about 40 out of the whole school. The Weasley twins were also still playing strong and if a person went against one of the four, they would regret it due to the other three ganging up on them. Ryu soon decided to go to bed as the dares got more mature. Rouge was able to stay in the game due to the fact the entire group went easy on her for being a small ickle firstie. She took this to her advantage by pulling out the hard stops and using the maximum of her daring abilities from past experiences in her reality outside Hogwarts. She surprised many by making seventh years do minor sexual favours that many would not think an eleven year old would know.

Around 3:00 am, the party began to die down and the ring of truth or dare dispersed when everyone else got sick of the evil dares thrust upon them by the cunning little Slytherin and the Gryffindor twins who were just as evil as any Slytherin. They high fived each other at their minor win and then they separated to go sleep with their years and genders. Rouge was able to find Ryu's sleeping bag with only the red hair popping out of the top. Laughing, she lay down beside her and snuggled in to her warming-charm enhanced sleeping bag. Though she and the others who had stayed up late got only a couple hours of sleep, the relaxing noise of the floating candles burning endlessly lulled the entire student body to a relaxed state.


	4. Chapter 4

You'll OD

Disclaimer: the only thing we own in this entire fic is the fanfiction itself and the characters Ryu and Rouge.

Warning: This will include everything. Profanity, sex, bad humour, drugs, you name it and it's probably in there… including yaoi or yuri (homosexual relations usually including sex) you have been warned.

Credits: Original concept; Ryu and Rouge

Authors' Note: Hello and welcome to "You'll OD" a fanfiction so crack filled-you'll OD on its humour and randomness. Since this is -gasp- a crack fic with a plot, so it will take some time before it gets uber funny… to help introduce the characters and such. This is a collaborative piece between Ryu-Vampiress and therougeslytherin, so it will be uploaded to both our accounts. Enjoy the chaos.

Chapter 4

Copycat

The next day Ryu did as Draco dared, copying everything Rouge did or said. Ryu had even charmed her voice to sound like – and automatically repeat- everything her friend said.

"You know," Rouge paused a moment to let Ryu's charm work

"You know"  
"You're like my Dark Link… Without the slash."

"You're like my Dark Link… Without the slash." Ryu glared at her friend, "You know you don't have to-"

"Rock." Rouge interrupted, smiling like a Cheshire cat

"Rock. Goddamnit Rouge!"

The two continued walking, the redhead glancing down at her attire.

"You know, as much as I love green…" Her voice dripping with venom as she formed her next words. Rouge whispered something and when Ryu's system booted in,

"I'd rather be in Hufflepuff." Ryu said, then shouted, "Hey! I do not!"

"Do too."  
"Do too. Damnit." Ryu sighed as Rouge laughed, "I think Draco may have given you a gift – making me do this."

"I'll have to thank him."

"I'll have to thank him. You can tell him in Potions, it's in half-an-hour anyways."

"You mean we'll tell him."

"You mean we'll tell him. Right." Ryu nodded, smushing her hand against her face. It was going to be a long day.

Draco was already in class when the girls arrived, taking their 'claimed' seats near the centre of the class.

"Well, well." Draco smirked, "You look good in green Kaida. Too bad - you got sorted into the freak category."

"Shut up Malfoy, who would have thought you could fit in a skirt so well." Ryu glared at the boy as he moved to her side of the table.

"Yes… I suppose Slytherin colours make everyone look good regardless of who the uniform was intended for."

"Sod off Draco and just so you know the Slytherin clothes aren't working for you." Rouge growled, he was walking a fine line.

Draco was about to make a retort when the Professor walked in. Ryu flushed with anger as Draco strode back to his seat, skirt swishing. _Bloody prat. _Ryu thought with distain. _Mind you I can't take him that seriously wearing that getup. _Professor Snape turned to face the class with a scowl on his face.

"Today you will be making a salve that aids in the healing of small cuts and scrapes." He said, flicking his wand at the chalkboard. Kids quickly scrambled for their cauldrons when cramped, white words appeared on the blackboard.

Rouge and Ryu summoned their supplies to them. Snape noticed this and then noticed Ryu's attire, seemingly choosing to ignore Malfoy's change in outfit. He walked over to their table and watched them work until Rouge spoke up.

"Yes Professor?"

"Yes Professor?"

An eyebrow rose on the Potions Master's forehead.

"Would you care to explain the situation of your clothes, Miss. Kaida?"

Rouge whispered something and Ryu immediately spoke.

"How about after class, Professor?"

Silence.

Ryu's face went as red as a Gryffindor flag and she hit Rouge as the teacher's nose crinkled in disbelief.

"Sorry Sir!" Ryu said quickly, "It's a dare!"

The whole class was still furiously grinding up ingredients. But Ryu could feel the eyes of her peers tearing into her skull.

"Draco decided it would be a good dare Professor." Rouge said as Ryu hid her face in her hands. _Why would she do that? _Ryu was hating her life at the moment. _This isn't a bloody fanfiction!_

"Draco decided it would be a good dare Professor." Ryu repeated

"Why is she wearing Slytherin clothes?" Severus ignored the previous answer Ryu gave him, probably pretending she didn't just talk to him in such an inappropriate way.

"Also part of the dare. She's like my little clone."

"Also part of the dare. She's like my little clone."

Ryu sunk lower in her seat. This was not going well.

"Well I suggest you start working on the potion, Miss. Kaida. You've wasted enough time acting like a twit."  
"Y-yes Professor." Ryu still kept her face hidden, making the mortar and pedestal grind up some foxtail.

Snape moved on to check everyone else's progression and Ryu uncovered her face slightly. Her skin had given up most of it's red colour, but she hit Rouge for good measure.

Later that day they had charms with Flitwick and the skirted Draco would not stop reminding her that she had to hug him. Rouge just continually scowled, waiting for the opportune moment. Ryu had changed the charm so that it was not 'I will say whatever comes out of her mouth' and now she would whisper when Rouge did, etc. Why she hadn't done it earlier she had no idea. At the end of class - which had been once again far too easy for the duo - Flitwick was asking the girls if they would be interesting in revealing how their powers worked to the staff in a meeting.

"That would be interesting Professor but," Rouge piped up, "We're just kinda learning that ourselves."

"That would be interesting Professor but, we're just kinda learning that ourselves." Ryu repeated, the whole thing was sort of old now.

"Yes well, you're quite right." He nodded vehemently, "You just let me know when you're ready."

"Thank you Professor." Rouge knelt a bit and hugged him, pulling back quickly

"Thank you Professor. See you next class!" Ryu pulled rouge out of the class.

"That was embarrassing." The Slytherin hissed

"That was embarrassing. Well no shit, but you've had worse."

"I know, but a teacher!"

"I know, but a teacher… that's not that bad." Ryu replied quietly

"Oh because doing shit with a teacher is totally legal." Rouge rolled her eyes with sarcasm, "It's just inappropriate."

"Oh because doing shit with a teacher is totally legal. It's just inappropriate. Says Mademoiselle Slut."

"Hey! I am not…" Rouge laughed

"Hey! I am not… Right." Ryu thought over what she said as they turned the corner. They were - yet again - headed to the Great Hall for lunch.

"I'm starved." Rouge grumbled

"I'm starved. We should really start eating breakfast."

"Not until they start serving Starbucks and chocolate."

"Not until they start serving Starbucks and chocolate. See you later." Ryu yawned as the two separated and sat at their own tables. Harry and company were nowhere to be seen… they would really have to become friends with them if they were to be let in on the plot. Ryu looked over to Rouge as the Gryffindor munched on a strawberry. Draco and Rouge were talking animatedly, seemingly over their quarrel due to the truth or dare game.

Rouge caught Ryu's eye and waved at her, "Come'ere clonie!" she yelled from across the hall.

"Come'ere clonie…" The girl repeated while glaring at her friend before walking over. "I would like to eat you know."

"Yeah, yeah," Draco snipped, "Listen Kaida, it's not enough that you talk like her, you should look like her too!"

'_So he's found out it doesn't bug her…'_

Ryu raised an eyebrow, "That has nothing to do with what she does or says. It's not in the original dare."

"I tried to tell him, but he's such a fuc-"

"You listen here Kaida!" Draco paused as the redhead repeated her friend, "What I say goes and if-"

"What kind of alternate universe are you living in?" Ryu said, exasperated, "If it wasn't in the original dare it doesn't apply."

"Sadistique, make her do it!"  
The girl in question raised an eyebrow, "Those are the rules Malfoy, I cannot change them."

"Those are the rules Malfoy, I cannot change them." Ryu sighed, annoyed, "Are we done here or can I go eat?"

"I'll find a way around this!" Draco shouted at Ryu's back

"There's always next year." Rouge grinned before turning back to her plate.

Life was good.


End file.
